Lesson 12: Evolved or Changed

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? Barbra Streisand That could be for both men and women. We probably have all heard someone complain about a person they are involved with saying "they just aren't the same person anymore." They feel that this person has suddenly changed almost over night or maybe they have changed and the other person has stayed the same. There is a difference between someone evolving and someone changing.
I do not mean evolving like the genetic adaptation. I could write you a lesson on that, but I will spare you :). I use evolving and changing to distinguish between the slow or sudden alteration of a person's character, likes, dislikes, or behavior.
A person evolves when their traits or characteristics are slowly or subtly altered over a long period of time. It could be for the better or for the worse, but it happens so gradually the man way to even notice is to have not seen the person for many years. Usually this is just a person maturing or acquiring new tastes. They might still like those styles or things but they just dress or act differently. This is the equivalent to running into someone you went to school with but have not seen in five to ten years. Essentially they are the same person, just the outside may have changed or they have added new experiences into their life.
A changed person is someone who has almost just flipped their personality overnight. It might not be quite as sudden as that but it can seem to be. These are changes that leave people who see you every day to wonder what the hell is going on (but not in a bad way always). Sometimes a change can be a good thing, often it can be bad one. Usually this is triggered by an event or new person in their life. It can be a phase, or a permanent thing. In my experience, a sudden change can be one of two things: it is not so much a change as they are just showing who they really are, or they are putting on an act to impress someone.
Not every change or evolution is going to be a bad thing again. As long as the person is treating those around them and you with decency and respect, then go with it. Or, you could find a way to evolve together.