"Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances can be life-threatening." Maya Angelou
There are few things so damaging as jealousy. A little bit is not always bad, but a little bit to a lot more will spell doom for a relationship. Jealousy is a very real emotion that can strike at any time to anyone. How a person deals with it and how it controls them is what will make or break them.
I had someone tell me once "I love you more because you don't get jealous." They had actually tried to make me jealous and got extremely mad at me when they failed. I had told them from the beginning of a relationship that I was not a jealous person. Even as a child I viewed it as a wasted emotion. It consumes you, angers you, and makes you focus either on what you do not or cannot have, and depresses you.
It is natural to get a little envious of someone or something you like. Instead of letting it consume you, put that energy and desire into achieving what it is you want (unless, of course, it is a person you want that has a significant other already). It makes absolutely no sense to beat yourself up or those around you for the thing you are jealous over.
Usually, when it comes to jealousy the real issue is insecurity. Someone who is not secure with themselves is going to find something to be jealous of anywhere. My ex was so bad with it I had to stop watching CSI because when he asked if any of the men were attractive I honestly answered a simple 'yes'. He could not handle it because "I don't look like any of those guys so you must not find me attractive." It escalated to the point where I really had to stop watching the show and eventually I could not watch any movie or show with any actor deemed 'attractive' to him or what he thought I would find attractive. He also became (but at least he admitted it) jealous when I ended up in the hospital and had to have coworkers and friends help me. We were in a new country and he was deployed. I was trying to care for a two year old and two dogs after recovering from surgery. He honestly would have rather had me suffer than to have people help me and be friends with me. How can something like that be considered 'love'? In most cases, when someone is watching something or sees someone that their partner gets jealous or angry over, the person doing the watching is not even thinking or judging those 'threats' against their partner.
Thankfully, not all people are like that. A lot of times jealousy can be reined in by simply reassuring the person that their fears are unfounded or that 'yes, that person has something you do not, but you know what? That is ok. You have things they do not have.' If you find yourself getting jealous, try and figure out what exactly you are so envious of. Is this something you could possibly attain? Then work towards it. Is this something that you cannot ever have? Quit worrying about it and focus your energy on what you DO have. Also realize that any emotion that you let hurt the ones closest to you is not a sign that you love them. Hurting them with it again and again is a sign you do not care enough to want them to be happy.
Of course, it is never as easy as stating it. It can work. It works for me. Honestly, it does. I have witnessed it ruin other people's lives. I would much rather be happy than let something as foolish as jealousy ruin my life. Do you want to spend your life missing out on what you have because you cannot take your eyes off of what you do not? Alternately, do you want to spend your life with someone who only sees what they do not have and cannot and will not see what is in front of them- you?
"As iron is eaten by rust, so are the envious consumed by envy." ~Antisthenes
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