Lesson 10: If you manage to leave, you will probably have to live with people believing lies

"Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than to hurt yourself putting it back together." Author unknown.
It is never a good thing to give up easily. Being in a committed relationship means trying to make it work even when it can seem too hard. Some problems that seem to be the end-all can be repaired with a little bit of work. There are some relationships that are free from the typical problems but there is just no real chemistry and no real 'togetherness'. There are relationships that become so broken, so unhealthy, and so unsafe that the only thing left to save is yourself.
You will know when a relationship reaches the point where it cannot be fixed. Many people stay in bad relationships because they are afraid of starting over, afraid of the confrontation, fear of being hurt, or afraid of what others may think.
Knowing that leaving is what is best for you is the first step. Especially if it is good for any children in the relationship. You need to try to put those fears aside and make that leap. If you are afraid for your safety, reach out to family and friends. Having a good support system is essential, even if you are lucky enough to not be escaping an extremely bad situation.
One of the unfortunate side effects of leaving someone who does not want to let you go is having to deal with the misunderstanding of outside parties and even lies told by your former partner. It is definitely not easy to hear bad things being said about you and it can be near impossible to make people understand your situation. Unless it is someone you like or are friends with or still have a connection to- do not worry about it. The truth will come out eventually, and if it does not- at least you were the bigger man or woman.
It did hurt for me to hear the things that were said about me after I filed for divorce. My family, friends, and coworkers had the advantage of witnessing a lot of the reasons why I got out. His side did not see it and they believed the lies he was telling about me (not all of them, thankfully). It hurt at first but I realized that I cannot change what he is saying. I cannot make an announcement to the world This Just In: Real Reasons for Lori's Divorce! What I can do is give the truth if asked and just live my life for my daughter and for myself. Although, I think I'm going to hang onto all my documentation, tapes, and journal entries just in case. I cannot say for sure that karma will catch up with people that hurt you, but it does feel nice to hope for it.
If you manage to get out of your bad situation, the main goal should be to rebuild yourself and be happy again. No one should let the negativity of others affect their decision to make a better life. In the end, you have to live with yourself.