"Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein
Often, if you ask anyone what they need more of in life they will say time. Even for all the so-called conveniences and supposed time savers we have available, there never seems to be enough of it. Unfortunately, as human beings we have a limited supply of energy. Well, except for children, who seem to have a limitless supply. :)
Part of loving or liking someone is to want to take the time to take care of them. Usually you can gain peace and happiness by making the other person happy. That is an essential part of any healthy relationship. However, if you are the one pouring all your time and energy into caring for the other person and getting nothing in return, you are only hurting yourself. I do not mean a monetary return or even to get back equally as much as you give. The reward can be as simple as being recognized, loved, appreciated, and/or respected. There will be situations where the other person could never technically repay you, but if they are a good person then they still deserve it.
There will be times in life where you have the misfortune of not being appreciated or respected by the person you are spending so much time on (and if you are one of those people who haven't had this ever happen, Please, please tell me your secret!!!). I had a person in my life that I loved and thought they loved me in return. To me, when I am in love, I do everything I can for them. At first, the person seemed to appreciate it. I was not getting the same back but I was ok with it as long as they loved me.
I (in all honesty and non-exaggeration) was giving them a massage (or multiple ones) everyday, pedicures, manicures, facials, plucking their eyebrows a couple of times a week, cooking, cleaning, laundry, staying up all night to help them on their work projects, and even getting up every morning to iron their uniform early within a week after giving birth (and this was in addition to the typical other romantic gifts, notes, or cards). No, I am not crazy, and I honestly would not have minded if they even appreciated it a little bit. Sadly, for me, all I got was episodes of collapsing from exhaustion and being yelled at when I was too tired or sick to do more.
Looking back, that energy could have been put into better uses like experiences with my daughter, my education, friends, or even world peace. A person who truly loves you will appreciate everything you do. They will not take you for granted. They will give you back everything and more with just a glance, a hug, or a memory. You will know that person deserves it when you feel fulfilled by doing the things you do. You will know it when someone tells them they are lucky to have you and you feel like the lucky one. You never want to be the person who hears "Why do you do all that? They treat you like shit."
Kindness is what makes the world a better place. I am by no means suggesting you treat anyone badly that has treated you badly. I am merely telling you to still be kind but not to waste yourself on someone who is treating you badly. Yes, too often, the nice person will get stepped upon, but eventually the nice person will find someone worthy of them... at least I really, really, really hope so.
Time and energy are so precious. Make sure you give yours to people who make you happy. The right person will treat you better than you think you deserve and better than they treat themselves.
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