Lesson 3: Watch out for breakdowns in character.

"A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person." ~Dave Barry
We all have the ideal image of ourselves in our head. The us we want the world to see. We may even alter ourselves to fit the 'mold' of what we think the object of our attention desires. It is natural to want others to like us. I have been guilty of it many times. I am learning to completely be myself, love me or hate me. In a perfect world, we would know that our new love was being true to their real character.
Unfortunately, this is not a perfect world. There are things to look out for: what is it about that person's personality that attracted you? Are they consistent with it? Do you hear conflicting stories? Are they nice to everyone but you or vice versa? Any time there is stress, no matter how small, do they freak out or take it out on you?
I am not saying you have to only go for the 'perfect' one. The Celts had a saying that perfection was only for God(s). Flaws can keep things interesting. It can be what separates us from the crowd. They can even be endearing. However, there are the flaws that can make or break a relationship- I'll call them the fatal flaws. Fatal flaws can be something like jealousy, paranoia, a tendency to control, prone to acts of rage, selfishness, or meanness (not an all inclusive list). I am saying be aware of those fatal breakdowns in that initial act that can reveal the 'true nature' of the individual. They can give you insight into how the person will really treat you in the future once that initial trying to impress phase has worn off. Not every person will have a fatal flaw. You do not have to over analyze or look for something wrong in every little thing they do (because then you, yourself are making a fatal flaw).
For example: An ex had told me in the beginning he could be a little jealous. I was ok with this. He is only human, right? However, there were several comments and actions that were revealing the true depth to that jealousy and paranoia. I took those as being flukes and did not realize it was his true nature coming out until it was too late.
This is not strictly for females or males. Both sexes are guilty of it, and both sexes need to be on the look out for it. This is trying to be aware of any traits that could potentially spell doom for the relationship farther down the road. Just one way to weed out Mr. and Ms. Wrong and be on the way towards Mr. and Ms. Right.