Lesson 4: Maintain Your Separate Identity

"Don't smother each other. No one can grow in the shade." ~Leo Buscaglia
It seems so natural and easy to want to do everything with a new love or even an old one. Sometimes it is not that you want to spend every moment with your significant other, it just becomes routine (guilty!). Holding onto or developing other hobbies and having/keeping separate friends can be a vital thing.
This is almost an extension of lesson 2.1. This goes farther to say that you also need hobbies to do on your own. You will still need to nurture the things you have in common- mutual hobbies and have mutual friends. Having things to do together is very important, but being able to spend time apart can strengthen a relationship.
Someone who truly loves or likes you will encourage your hobbies and friendships. They will not (or should not) be intimidated by this. Consequently, you should not be intimidated by it either. Being able to do things separately or wanting to do things alone does not mean you love that person any less and it does not mean they love you any less. It will make time together more meaningful and give more things to talk about when you are together.
These things can be as simple as going to the park to read a book for an hour or two a week or perhaps one of you likes to golf. Any creative, stress-relieving hobby that makes you happy will only strengthen your bond because you do not have to rely on the other person to be your mental punching bag. It gives you an extra release.
This will also ensure that there will never be any possible resenting going on later. No one wants to lose things that are important to them or to no longer be able to do things that they once enjoyed. This will also be helpful in the event that the relationship does end. You will not be stuck having to rediscover yourself.