When things are going very badly it can be hard to imagine getting back to a place where you can be truly happy. This can be especially hard if you still see or feel the signs of whoever hurt you. Being able to get past the person holding you down will be key.
Some people have said that getting rid of all signs of your ex can help. Of course, this is not easy if you share important people, such as children, friends, coworkers, or stay in touch with their family members. Depending on the severity of the damage done, it can take a while to get to that place.
I am still dealing with this one. Whenever I look in the mirror, step on a scale, or try to balance my checkbook, I can see how the last traces of the abuse are still there. The fear that shoots through me whenever someone shows interest is another reminder. It is getting better though.
I will get over it and I will be happy again. I look at it like this: I gave over four years to being miserable, I deserve to have some happiness now. I am not going to waste anymore time on it.
I know I have to let go of that fear. "Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering." Yoda. (I had to throw in a Yoda quote.) Fear, hatred, and anger will keep you from being with happiness. These emotions will control you and keep you from enjoying anything. You owe it to yourself to not let the other person keep you down. Even if you had a normal breakup, you can be guilty of letting them keep you from enjoying life.
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